Getting the right job or client is a choice or at least we should approach it that way. Too many times we get so wrapped up in being accepted for our worth that we will go with anyone who likes what we are selling. However, I think a job or a project is a relationship and is as important is if you were looking for a life partner.  After experiencing two marriages that ended in failure, I light went off in my head – why do we approach work choices so differently when they are still a relationship even if it is centered more about work and not home. So I thought I would approach my next client/employer search with the same standards that I use in choosing to be with a life partner.  Here is an excerpt from an email that I sent to a recruiter at a company that I really want to work with. White Dog James Newbill Marry Me

“However, this time, I would like to try a different approach   ……  I hope that you would allow me to share why I believe that to be a “non factor” when tempered with the context of what I am looking for. Ironically, it is my experience, especially as a traveling consultant for 12 years, that tempered how and what I look for in a “job”. Now, I know that joining a company is like a marriage.  Going for a position and interviewing is like the courting process, where everyone is aspirational and seeking acceptance. Don’t laugh; I am on my second marriage. Only now, I understand a good marriage starts with establishing a foundation with covering wants, needs, beliefs, – basically all the uncomfortable details that we typically avoid and instead opt for relishing the immediate needs that planning a wedding and honeymoon easily fulfill. Plus, starting at a position that could be considered a step back, could in fact be a way to take it slow as we just get to know each other. Simply date exclusively before “popping the question” so to speak. My past has given me the wisdom that have made me financial poor but life experience rich,..

So consider this note our first pre-marital counseling session! First and foremost, I want to work with a company that I believe in. My blood pumps faster when I am part of a company that is at the bleeding edge of its field and has the potential of dramatically impacting the future. I am sure you will agree that with it’s groundbreaking XXXXXX technology and the potential impact in the new era of fraud and misrepresentation, that XXXXX  easy passes that test!   The next qualifier is more personal in nature and one that is grounded in self-realization and life goals that I have set. The first of which is that I simply want a work environment that fosters hard work along with having a little fun along the way. Next, I want a company that I can invest in long term, as I am loyal to a fault. In fact, I stayed 8 years with MindSpring/Earthlink during the Internet Boom! That is like 30 years at a traditional company. Lastly, I value my family a great deal and I am currently seeking positions that a lot for the flexibility that a family of 5 (and another on the way) requires. Trust me – that usually translates to contributing more working hours than most. If a company meets those humble needs then I often will trade salary and position for life balance and personal growth and satisfaction. Or in keeping with the theme – A long term relationship where we both are happy in sickness and in health! “

I will let you know how it goes. But I am resigned to choosing the right client or employer for my families sake ironically!

  • James Newbill